Always Forward (#9 in the Bregdan Chronicles Historical Fiction Romance Series) Read online

  Carrie gazed at her, continually astonished with how fast the little girl was growing up. She had gained three inches in height, but it was the look of confidence in her eyes that said she had truly come into her own since being on the plantation. She was only eleven years old, but she had already proven herself as a capable trainer with the foals.

  Robert chuckled. “That’s my girl,” he said approvingly. His grin broadened as Polly fixed him with an admonishing look. “Why shouldn’t she be honest? Aren’t we all feeling the same thing?”

  “I know I am,” Thomas agreed quickly. “Now, can we stop talking about how excited we are to eat, and just go do it?”

  Carrie slipped gratefully into her seat, and then gazed around at the gaggle of people crowding the room. In spite of how large the dining table was, extra chairs had been added to accommodate everyone. Her father’s glistening silver head was bowed low to talk to Felicia, Moses’ and Rose’s twelve year old adopted daughter. One year old Hope, born on Christmas Eve the year before, was snuggled tightly in her father’s arms, as Rose tried to calm 4-year-old John down enough to sit at the table. Simon, his five year old cousin, was doing nothing to make it easier, but the happiness on her best friend’s face said she didn’t mind.

  Janie and Matthew, married just one week, glowed with the newness of their love. Matthew’s arm was wrapped tightly around his wife as they chatted with Simon and June, who had arrived just before the meal had been announced - refusing to let the deepening snow keep them on Blackwell Plantation. They had brought along the news that Perry and Louisa wouldn’t be joining them because Louisa wasn’t feeling well.

  She watched Abby’s head tilt back with a joyous laugh as she chatted with Clint and Gabe. Polly had joined Annie in the kitchen to carry everything to the table. Annie had staunchly refused any more help. Carrie could tell by the look of pride on Clint’s face that he was talking about how his colt, Pegasus, was progressing. She had seen him appear briefly at the barn door when she and Robert rode off. She suspected he had been there since dawn. He took his job as stable manager and chief trainer very seriously. The results spoke for themselves.

  “I wish Jeremy and Marietta were here,” she murmured to Robert when he took his seat beside her.

  “I do, too, but I have a feeling they are enjoying having Thomas’ house all to themselves,” he said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

  Carrie laughed. “I do imagine their honeymoon week will be much more private in town,” she agreed. “I’m also sure they are glad to not have to drive back through the snow today.”

  Janie overheard her last comment. “Matthew isn’t sure we will be able to leave today.”

  Thomas nodded. “There will be two feet of snow before it stops,” he predicted. “It won’t be safe to take the carriage into Richmond.”

  Matthew shrugged, obviously unconcerned. “Janie and I will get back to Philadelphia when we can. I thought about leaving yesterday so we would miss the snow, but I wasn’t about to let us miss our first New Year’s Day brunch as a married couple.” He pulled Janie tighter with his arm. “I refuse to miss a single first.”

  Janie raised a glowing face to meet his eyes. “I don’t imagine the Homeopathic College will stop running if I’m not there, and the Philadelphia Enquirer will somehow survive without their star reporter.”

  Carrie’s heart warmed. She was so glad Matthew and Janie had each other. They were the perfect couple. “I’m so glad y’all aren’t leaving.” She rolled her eyes toward Matthew. “I suppose you will want to try and beat me in chess tonight since you have failed so miserably the last few times.”

  “Only because you weren’t feeling well,” Matthew scoffed. “My mother taught me to never take advantage of an ill woman.”

  Carrie and Janie exchanged a grin. “I guess it’s as good an excuse as any,” Carrie agreed impishly. “I’m feeling better, though, so you’ll have to come up with a new excuse after I beat you tonight.”

  “Time will tell,” Matthew said complacently. “Time will tell.”

  John’s voice rose high above the clamor. “Isn’t it time to eat?”

  Annie chuckled as she appeared in the doorway holding a huge platter of sliced ham and baked sweet potatoes. “That it is, grandson.” She eyed him sternly. “But I don’t feed little boys that ain’t sitting down at the table.”

  John gave her a big grin, and scrambled into his chair. “I’m here, Granny!”

  “So you be,” Annie said calmly as she set the platter down on the table. She turned toward the kitchen to get more, as Polly appeared with several bowls of greens, grits, and black-eyed peas.

  John frowned as the black-eyed peas were placed in front of him. “I don’t like the peas,” he announced.

  “Doesn’t matter, son,” Moses said gravely. “It’s tradition.”

  John frowned harder. “Well, then I don’t like tradition.”

  “That doesn’t matter, either,” Moses assured him. “People in the South have been eating black-eyed peas and collard greens on New Year’s Day for as long as I’ve been alive.”

  “And for as long as I’ve been alive,” Annie added. “And as long as my mama was alive.”

  John stared at his granny for several moments. “That’s a real long time,” he finally said. He looked more closely at the peas. “What’s so special about them?”

  “The black-eyed peas bring you luck,” Moses said solemnly. “The collard greens will bring you money.”

  John grinned with relief. “Then I don’t need to eat them,” he announced happily. “I’m already lucky, and I don’t need any money!”

  Laughter rolled around the table, but John’s plate was the first to get a small spoonful of black-eyed peas and collard greens.

  “It won’t be a son of mine who brings bad luck on Cromwell Plantation,” Moses said. Then he leaned over closer to the little boy. “I hated them when I was your age, too,” he confessed.

  John gazed up at him. “But Granny made you eat them?”

  “She did,” Moses agreed. “Just like you’re going to have to eat them.”

  John stared at his plate for several long minutes. “So you’re doing something bad to me just because Granny did something bad to you?”

  The laughter was explosive this time. Rose stepped in to rescue her floundering husband. “He’s not trying to do something bad to you, son. Traditions are a wonderful thing, but sometimes they take a little getting used to.”

  “Can I hold my nose?” John asked. “Felicia told me that they wouldn’t taste so bad if I do.”

  Rose nodded, her eyes twinkling. “That would be okay. I used to hold my nose sometimes, too.”

  “We got to eat this food while it still be hot,” Annie said when she reappeared with another platter heaped with fried chicken and biscuits.

  Thomas reached over to put a hand on John’s shoulder. “Can you and Simon be real quiet during the blessing?”

  John nodded vigorously. “Yes, sir. Can you pray for a long time?”

  Thomas bit back a laugh. “My praying a long time won’t make the peas go away.”

  “Mama told me there is always hope,” John said staunchly. “I’m hoping that your prayer is good enough to make these peas disappear!”

  ******

  Quiet reigned while Thomas asked the blessing over the meal.

  When Carrie opened her eyes, she knew she was in trouble. The room’s heat, mixed with all the aromas of the food, was suddenly more than her system could handle. She pushed back her chair roughly, grabbed a napkin, and raced toward the kitchen, barely making it outside before her stomach rebelled. She felt Abby’s comforting touch on her shoulder, as Rose’s hand appeared with a damp cloth to wipe her face. Carrie leaned against the house and let the cold air embrace her. She was sure the other women were freezing, but it felt wonderful to her. It only took a few moments before she felt better. “I don’t know what in the world is the matter with me,” she muttered. She saw Rose and Abby exch
ange a look, but they just took her arms and led her back inside.

  “I’m glad you feel better, but hypothermia is dangerous too,” Rose observed. “Do you think you can stand being back in the dining room?”

  Carrie wasn’t at all sure, but she didn’t want to miss being with everyone. “I want to try.”

  “Annie has fixed you some toast and hot tea,” Abby said, tucking an arm around her waist to support her. “I told her you probably wouldn’t feel like eating.”

  “How long do you think this flu will go on?” Carrie asked.

  “Aren’t you the medical expert?” Rose teased.

  “I guess I’m still learning,” Carrie answered. “I’ve looked in my books for things to help with a stomach flu, but nothing seems to be helping.”

  The room was quiet when the women appeared at the door.

  Janie spoke into the silence. “I’m afraid you won’t find anything in the homeopathic books to help, Carrie. At least not for what you are looking for.”

  Carrie looked at her, confused by the twinkle in her friend’s eyes. She grew more confused when she saw the same humor lurking in the eyes of every woman at the table. “Am I missing something?”

  “I guess it just goes to show that nobody ought to be their own patient,” Annie observed.

  Carrie’s stomach started to churn again. “I’m afraid I don’t feel up to riddles. Can someone just make sense of this for me? I’m tired of feeling bad.”

  “It might last a while longer,” Annie said solemnly. She glanced at Polly.

  “Yep. It could last a while longer,” Polly agreed.

  Carrie’s eyes widened as understanding filtered through the curtain of nausea. “You mean I’m…”

  “Pregnant?” Janie replied. “I do believe that would be the proper diagnosis.”

  “Pregnant?” Robert asked with a gasp, his own eyes growing wide. “Carrie is pregnant?”

  Carrie sat quietly, trying to absorb the news. It certainly all made sense now. “I have morning sickness?”

  Abby took her hand. “You have morning sickness,” she agreed, and then looked at Thomas with a glowing smile. “We are going to be grandparents.”

  Carrie fought the nausea as a warm joy spread through her body. Her hand touched her stomach gently. Then she met Robert’s eyes. “I guess I’m pregnant,” she said softly.

  Robert’s face exploded with joy. “Pregnant,” he said hoarsely. “We’re going to have a baby.” His voice was a mixture of awe and disbelief. He stared at Carrie’s hand on her belly. “A baby…” he repeated.

  “Congratulations!” Rose cried.

  Carrie felt intense joy, but the heat from the room was making her ill again. “How long…?”

  “How long will you be sick?” Polly asked. “I guess it depends on how far along you are.”

  Carrie did a quick calculation in her head. Now that she knew she was pregnant, she was able to think back to when her last menstrual period had been. She gasped and met Robert’s eyes. The look on his face said he knew too. Their lovemaking in the clearing by the river in October had produced a child. Carrie’s fears that Robert couldn’t conceive children had obviously been wrong. “Almost three months,” she said softly, her eyes holding Robert’s as their message of love spread through her.

  Polly nodded. “That’s about what I figured. You’re lucky this didn’t hit sooner. You’ll probably feel sick another couple weeks, and then it will ease up.”

  “Peppermint and Ginger tea will help with the nausea,” Janie said helpfully. “When I get back to Philadelphia, I’ll send down some Colchium. It should take care of the rest of your symptoms. I used it with another pregnant woman the week before we came to the plantation. It worked wonders.”

  Carrie smiled as the word pregnant resonated through her mind and heart. “We will have a baby in July.”

  Robert reached over and grasped her hand. “I apologize that I called you an old woman this morning.” His voice was remorseful, but his face contradicted his words.

  “You called my daughter an old woman?” Thomas asked. “And you lived to tell about it?”

  “At least so far,” Abby retorted. “Carrie may have been too sick to retaliate, but the rest of the women around this table are just fine.”

  “Amen!” Janie said with flashing eyes.

  Robert held up his hands in surrender. “I was just teasing her,” he protested. “I have certainly learned enough in our marriage to not be quite that stupid.”

  “That’s a great relief,” Rose said sternly.

  “It certainly is,” Felicia added. “I may only be twelve, but even I know you should never call your wife an old woman!”

  When the laughter died away, Robert rose and lifted Carrie from the chair. “I can tell by the look on your face that you are about to be sick again. I’m taking you upstairs.”

  Carrie wanted to deny his statement, but her rolling stomach was not to be ignored. “That would be nice,” she agreed with a weak smile. She made no complaint when he wrapped an arm around her waist gently and helped her up the stairs.

  Robert held up a hand when Polly and Janie rose to join them. “I’ll take care of my wife,” he said firmly. “I certainly learned enough when I was sick to know how to handle this.” He looked down at Annie. “If you’ll just put a bucket of water and some rags outside the door, I would appreciate it.”

  “I’ll do that,” Annie answered. She turned to look at everyone. “Ain’t none of y’all can do anything Robert can’t do, and babies been coming in this world for as long as people been livin’. Y’all go ahead and eat this food ‘fore it gets stone cold.”

  *******

  Robert lowered Carrie gently on the bed, and then placed pillows beneath her head.

  “Can you open the window a little?” Carrie begged. The fire had done its job of warming the room, but now she found it suffocating.

  Robert opened the window quickly. “I guess that means you don’t need a quilt?”

  Carrie’s smile was shaky. “Not right now, anyway.”

  Robert sat down on the bed gently, and then reached out to touch her stomach lightly. “A baby…”

  “Our child,” Carrie said, full of the same awe he had. “We’re going to have a child.”

  A smile spread across Robert’s face. “I wasn’t sure it would ever happen.”

  Carrie didn’t admit just how afraid she had been of the same thing. Fatigue pressed down on her. Now that she knew why she was so sick, she could also admit how tired she was. Both she and her child needed rest.

  Robert saw it, too. “You need to sleep,” he said firmly. “You have more than just yourself to take care of now.”

  Carrie’s eyes drooped as the darkness closed in. A child. She and Robert were going to have a child. Sudden terror ripped through the curtain of joy.

  What kind of world was she bringing a child into?

  Chapter Two

  Five days passed before the snow melted enough to clear the roads into Richmond. The warmer air came with a strong wind that dried the mud quickly. Bright sunshine outlined the oak trees standing guard over their house, their silver and grey branches brushing each other in a graceful dance.

  Carrie gazed out the window as she took deep breaths. “I used to hate winter.”

  Robert glanced up from where he knelt by the fire, emptying ashes into a bucket to haul outside. “Why?”

  “I like green,” Carrie answered. “It was always so sad to me when the trees lost their leaves. I saw nothing but stark barrenness that seemed to mock me. I could hardly wait until spring brought out the green again.”

  “And now?”

  Carrie smiled. “It was something Miles told me.”

  “Miles?”

  Carrie felt a wave of sadness. “Miles was one of my father’s slaves. He managed the stables.” Her voice softened with remembering. “He taught me almost everything I know about horses. He taught me how to ride… how to jump.” Her voice dissolved into l
aughter. “He even helped me keep the jumping a secret from my mother. She would have died if she had found out.”

  “How did he do that?”

  “He found a big clearing back in the woods that he set up jumps in. No one ever suspected a thing.”

  “Not even your father?” Robert asked in an amused voice.

  “Especially my father. He had to defend me for so many things to my mother. I didn’t think he needed another one that big.”

  “Did Miles die?” Robert finished filling the bucket, and came to stand beside her at the window.

  “No,” Carrie said quickly. “He was among the first slaves to escape before the war. Rose received word that they had made it through to Canada, but there has never been any direct communication.” She brushed back the wispy curls the wind was blowing around her face. “I so wish I knew what had happened to him. I think his escape was the hardest for my father to take. He hated losing any of his slaves, but he just couldn’t understand why Miles would leave. He thought he loved running the Cromwell stables.”

  “He loved the idea of freedom more,” Robert replied.

  “Yes,” Carrie murmured, amazed once again at how far her husband had come. “Anyway, we were out riding in the woods one day in the winter when I was about fifteen. He made me stop and tell him what I saw in the trees.”

  “What you saw?”

  “Yes, he told me how much he loved the winter woods because every tree became a sculpture that stood on its own without the leaves to blur its lines. When I started looking at them differently, I realized each of them had its own special magic. I quit hating winter that day.”

  Robert’s eyes scanned the massive oak standing guard over the house. “The winter woods. I like that.”

  Carrie reached for her coat when she heard the rattle of the carriage wheels. “Everyone is about to leave. I want to say good-bye.”