Shifted By The Winds Read online

  “But the mamas need a break from feeding them,” Robert protested.

  Amber looked at him with something like sympathy. “Don’t you think they know that, Robert? I reckon they have a way of keeping that baby from continuing to suckle. Don’t you think God would have taken care of something like that?”

  Robert shifted uncomfortably under her piercing gaze. Amber had always been far wiser than her age. She had given him a reason to live — not just once, but twice. “What do you think we should do?” he finally asked.

  “Oh, we can’t do anything different than what we’re doing,” Amber said sadly. “This isn’t the wild, and Clint and I got to start training these babies. I couldn’t do that if they were still depending on their mamas.” She patted Robert’s hand. “I don’t think you’re a bad man, Robert. I just figure we’ll treat our horses a whole lot better if we realize they are way smarter than we think they are.” She paused, smiling as one of the colts kicked up his heels and skittered around under the tree. “We got to get these horses ready to sell. Isn’t that the whole point of everything?”

  Robert opened his mouth, but closed it, all the earlier contentment disappearing.

  Amber frowned. “Did I say something wrong, Robert?” Her ebony face was wrinkled with concern as she leaned over to look at him more closely.

  “Of course not,” Robert said quickly. She was too young to be told what was worrying him. “I was just thinking about how much we have to do before these babies will be ready to sell.” He forced his voice to sound confident, but the considering look in Amber’s eyes said she wasn’t convinced.

  Robert turned and waved his hand toward the group of foals. He knew he would have to distract her from asking more questions that he didn’t want to answer. “Do you have a favorite yet?”

  Amber gave him a knowing look but entered into the game, nodding her head quickly. Her eyes softened as they settled on a dark bay filly stretched out in the shade. “All My Heart.”

  “All my heart?” Robert asked quizzically. He had decided to wait until all the foals had been weaned before they were given their final names. “Are you talking about the filly with the perfect heart shape on her forehead?” Robert had known she was special the day she was born. Spirit blazed in her eyes, but she was gentle as a lamb.

  “Yes,” Amber said almost reverently. “From the day she came into this world she done took all my heart.”

  Robert smiled. Amber was learning so much in school, but when she felt really strongly about something, she slipped back into the black dialect she had grown up with. “Then you’ll be the one to train her,” he announced, expecting a thrilled reaction. He was surprised when Amber shook her head slowly.

  “I don’t think that will be such a good idea, Robert,” she said hesitantly as her eyes strayed to the pasture.

  Robert could feel the sadness flowing through her body as she looked back at him with wide eyes. “Why not? You obviously love her. I know she will respond easily to you,” he said, confused by the look on his young friend’s face.

  “I reckon she would,” Amber agreed, her eyes lighting with pride as they rested on the filly. “But it can’t be me,” she insisted. Her mouth tightened as the sadness returned to her eyes.

  Robert laid a hand on her arm. “Tell me why, Amber,” he said. He was suddenly certain he already knew, but he wanted her to say it.

  Amber, after several minutes of silence, finally swung around to look at him. “I couldn’t bear it, Robert,” she said, desperation making her voice higher. “I just couldn’t stand to be the one to train her. She would learn to trust and love me, and then I would have to watch her leave with someone else.” Her voice faltered as her dark eyes filled with tears. “I can stand it with the others, but not with her.” She shook her head. “No, not with her.” Her voice cracked with pain and certainty.

  “She’s already learned to trust and love you,” Robert stated quietly.

  Amber’s eyes filled with alert confusion. “What do you mean?”

  Robert smiled and squeezed her arm. “Do you think I don’t know you’re here early every morning talking to All My Heart, giving her extra grain, and grooming her until she shines?”

  Amber gasped. “Did Clint tell you?”

  Robert laughed. “Your brother would never have told your secret. He didn’t have to. My bedroom window looks right out on the door of the barn, and I can see out over the whole pasture. I’ve watched you fall in love with that little filly for the last five months.”

  Amber stared at him, struggling to control the sadness twisting her face. She shook her head. “Then you know why I can’t be the one to train her,” she said flatly.

  Robert felt a flash of joyful satisfaction. He had looked for a way to adequately thank the little girl who had saved his life and helped change his entire belief system. “What if she didn’t leave?”

  Amber blinked her eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “What if All My Heart didn’t leave?” Robert repeated, biting back his laugh.

  Amber blinked again, a wild hope flaring in her eyes as she struggled to maintain her composure. “Maybe you should spell it out for me.”

  Robert made no attempt to hold back his laugh this time. Amber sounded exactly like her mama, Polly. He reached up, pulled Amber down from the fence, and held her close. He could not have loved this little girl more if she had been his own daughter. “I’m saying that All My Heart belongs to you, Amber.”

  Amber stiffened and pulled back to stare up into his face. “To me?” she whispered disbelievingly. “You’re… giving me… All My Heart?” she stammered.

  “That’s right,” Robert confirmed, relishing the look of stunned, uncertain joy beginning to bloom on her face.

  “She’s worth an awful lot of money, Robert. Wouldn’t it be best if you sold her?”

  Robert smiled and knelt down to where he could gaze into her liquid eyes. “Yes, All My Heart is worth a lot of money. But she is worth far more to me if she makes the little girl I love best in the world happy.”

  Amber held her breath for a long moment. “You love me best in the world of any little girl?” she murmured. “Me?”

  “You,” Robert confirmed, squeezing both her hands tightly, his heart constricting with love. “And because I do, I want you to have All My Heart.” He nodded toward the pasture. The filly had moved out from the shade and was trotting toward the fence. “She just figured out you’re here. Don’t you want to go see your horse?”

  Amber stared at him for another moment and then tilted her head back as joyous laughter exploded from her mouth. She leapt forward to grab Robert in a hug and clung to his neck. “Thank you,” she cried. “Thank you! Thank you!” She jumped back and did a wild little dance in the dusty dirt beneath the fence. “I ain’t never been so happy in my whole life! I love you, Robert!”

  Robert made no attempt to wipe away the tears stinging his eyes. He grinned and pushed her toward the gate. “I love you, too. Now go out there and spend some time with your horse, young lady.”

  Amber laughed even harder as she ran to the gate. Too excited to bother with the latch, she scaled it like a monkey, leapt down to the ground, and raced toward All My Heart. The perfectly formed bay filly stopped and waited as Amber flung her arms around her neck, and then she gave a glad little whinny.

  Robert laughed as he watched them. They were the perfect pair. He couldn’t help thinking about the bay colt he had fallen in love with when he was ten years old, almost exactly Amber’s age. He had spent every spare moment with the colt, losing his heart a little more every day. At the end of the summer, his father, heedless of Robert’s pleading, had sold the colt for a high price. Robert could still feel the agony that consumed him when the colt was hauled away in a wagon, his bewildered neighs ringing through the air as he watched the little boy he loved disappear from sight. One year later his father had died. Those years were still a blur of pain to him. Watching Amber’s joy over All My Heart made th
e ache almost disappear.

  “That was quite a gift,” came a strong voice from the shadows.

  Robert glanced over with a smile. “Hey, Moses. Don’t they look great together?”

  Moses came to stand by his side, his massive arms crossing as they rested on the top rung of the fence. “Just like they belong together,” he agreed. “I do believe Amber is the happiest little girl in Virginia today.”

  “She means the world to me,” Robert murmured, joy radiating through his heart as he watched them together in the pasture. Now that the hugging had been taken care of, All My Heart was much more interested in playing. He watched as the filly pranced away, glancing backwards to see if Amber would follow. Amber, her laughter still ringing through the air, ran after her.

  “Giving her that horse right now also provided the perfect distraction,” Moses observed.

  Robert glanced at him. “What are you talking about?”

  Moses gave him a knowing look. “I’ve been in the barn a little while,” he revealed. “I was coming to see you. When I heard you and Amber talking, I decided not to interrupt.”

  Robert frowned, the earlier worry flooding back into him. “I see…” he murmured. He continued to watch Amber and All My Heart cavorting in the field, trying to regain the contentment he had felt just moments earlier.

  “What is it you didn’t want to tell her?” Moses asked bluntly.

  Robert sighed and finally turned to look at Moses. Even after a year he was still astonished at the close friendship he had developed with the son of the slave who had killed his father when Robert was eleven years old. He seldom thought about it anymore, but the fact that he was about to reveal something that no one else knew caused him to reflect on how much he had changed. “No one will buy Cromwell horses,” he responded with equal bluntness. He saw no reason to dance around the issue.

  Moses’ eyes narrowed, but he didn’t look surprised. “Because of us.”

  Robert shrugged. “Because I no longer fit the parameters that other whites in the area believe I should fit. I no longer hate blacks. I no longer believe they are inferior. I choose to treat them fairly as equals.” His voice faltered as he saw his dreams evaporating before his eyes.

  “Do you regret it?”

  Robert shook his head immediately. “Not a bit. I was miserable with hate and prejudice before Amber and her family helped me see the truth. I wouldn’t change anything about who I have become, but it’s impossible to make the stables profitable if no one will buy the horses.” Worry flooded back into him. He had invested everything from the sale of Oak Meadows into his new breeding program. Abby had invested quite a bit as well. He hated the idea of her losing her investment even more than he hated the idea of losing his own. He had believed he was being given a chance to rebuild everything he lost during the war. Now he was watching that belief evaporate like early morning mist on the James River.

  “Someone will buy these horses,” Moses said, his deep voice communicating the conviction in his eyes.

  Robert knew it was ridiculous, but he wanted to hold on to his friend’s conviction. “Do you know something I don’t?”

  “I know God didn’t open all these doors for you just to have some bigoted white people slam them all in your face.”

  “And you know this how?” Robert had changed a lot, but he still didn’t truly comprehend Moses’ belief in God. He was also thankful that it didn’t seem to matter. The two men had grown to love and respect each other for who they were.

  Moses grinned. “Sarah told me that. I haven’t seen a reason to believe it’s not true.”

  Robert laughed and shook his head. He had never met Rose’s mama, but stories about her were legendary. “Sarah again…” He wished he had even a smidgen of the faith he heard about in the stories, but he just didn’t understand it.

  “Nobody thought I had a chance of being the first black spy for the Union Army,” Moses reminded him. “I decided to believe what Sarah told me before I escaped.” He shrugged, a smile twitching his lips. “You know how that turned out.”

  Robert grinned again, amazed they could joke about the war that had ended so recently and almost killed them both. He sobered as the memories swept through him.

  Moses’ eyes grew more serious. “I meant what I said, Robert. Someone is going to buy these horses. You just do your job. When the time is right, someone is going to purchase them. A door is going to swing open that you can’t even envision.”

  “That last part is right,” Robert muttered, turning to stare at the cluster of foals under the oak tree. His hope that his stud, Eclipse, would sire a sterling group of foals had been far surpassed by the reality. He had never seen such quality. In response, he had bought more mares in the last few months with the money from Oak Meadows. He knew the crop of foals they could look forward to in the spring would only enhance the reputation of Cromwell horses—assuming he could find someone to buy the ones he was looking at.

  “Does Carrie know?”

  Robert shook his head. “I was going to tell her, but then they got called away. I didn’t want to spring the news on her right before she left. She would just worry.” He was glad not to have burdened her with the bad news, but he was also sad she missed the joy of giving All My Heart to Amber. They had planned on doing it together.

  Moses nodded easily. “Looks like you’re doing enough worrying for both of you,” he agreed.

  Robert sighed. “I know worrying won’t change anything.”

  “No, but you would be less than human if you didn’t. The trick is to not let the worry paralyze you. You gots to feel it, let it go, and keep right on movin’.”

  Robert grinned as Moses slipped back into the black dialect. “Sarah?”

  “Sarah.” Moses slapped him on the back. “Let’s go for a ride. There’s something I want to talk to you about.

  Carrie groaned as she and Janie finished putting the sheets on the last bed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired in my life. I have muscles hurting that I didn’t even know existed.”

  “How easily we forget,” Janie said, managing a weak smile as she pushed back limp strands of hair from her weary face.

  “Forget?”

  “There were times we worked twenty-four hours straight at Chimborazo,” Janie reminded her. “We hardly knew our names when we walked out of there.”

  Carrie frowned. “You’re right. I’m doing my best to forget those times.” She knew she never would. It had gotten much better, but there were still times she had relentless nightmares of mangled bodies, rotting flesh, and glazed eyes burning with pain. She shuddered as she forced the images from her mind, and then turned to analyze the room. Her eyes narrowed. “Where is everyone else?” She’d been so absorbed in her work she hadn’t been aware everyone else had disappeared.

  Janie covered her mouth as she yawned. “They left a couple hours ago. Elizabeth, Alice, and Florence are finishing up on the first floor. The driver promised to come back for us. We told him we weren’t willing to leave until the hospital was ready for all the patients tomorrow.”

  Carrie looked up as two men appeared in the doorway at the end of the long room. She recognized them as the watchmen she had seen earlier in the day.

  “It’s time for us to leave,” one of the men called, “but we’re not going to leave you women here by yourself. You’re certainly not planning on staying all night, are you?”

  Carrie shook her head. “Definitely not. Our driver should be here in just a few minutes.”

  The watchman hesitated and looked at his companion. “We’ll wait until he gets here,” he said, only his eyes communicating how much he wanted to leave.

  “You’ll do nothing of the kind,” Carrie responded. She was certain the men had family waiting at home for them. They must already be frantic with worry. She could feel Janie’s alarm radiating from her eyes at the idea of being left alone, but it was not the watchmen’s fault they had insisted on remaining. “You must go home. We will b
e fine.”

  The other watchman glanced out the window. “Things seemed to have calmed down out there, Gerald,” he muttered.

  Gerald still looked hesitant, his kind eyes dark with worry.

  “Go home,” Carrie insisted, suddenly wondering if she was making another unwise decision. The look of relief on the men’s faces forced her to continue. “We will be just fine. We’ll wait right inside the building for our driver.”

  “And you’ll make sure the doors are locked?” Gerald asked.

  “I promise,” Carrie responded. “Go.” She watched, struggling to push away a vague sense of panic when the two men nodded, and then disappeared, closing the door behind them as the left. Only then did she turn to look at Janie. “You think I made a mistake.” She longed for Janie to disagree, but the knot forming in the pit of her stomach told her she had once again been too impulsive.

  Janie tried to smile. “What I think doesn’t really matter now. Let’s finish putting out the water pitchers and glasses. Our driver should be here any minute.”

  Regret surged through Carrie. “Matthew will never forgive me if something happens to you.” She grabbed Janie’s hand. “I’m so sorry, Janie.”

  Janie’s eyes softened at the mention of her fiancé’s name, but she straightened her shoulders and glanced toward the window. “Matthew has told me far too many stories of what he has risked to tell the truth of what has happened in our country. He might be terrified, but he would also support us doing what we believe is the right thing.”

  “So you’re not mad at me?”

  Janie’s smile was genuine this time. “If I got mad every time you did something impulsive, we would have ceased being friends a long time ago. Your impulsiveness is one of the things I love most about you. I’ve learned to deal with the fact that it sometimes gets us in trouble. Besides, it was your impulsivity that saved me the day we first met. Do you remember?”

  “How could I forget you being attacked by a drunken idiot?” Carrie answered, forgetting their situation for a minute as her mind traveled backward. A loud noise outside jolted her out of her reverie. “What time is it?”